


Even the Titanic Sank

by WORLDLWT



Category: Larry Stylinson - Fandom
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-04
Updated: 2017-04-04
Packaged: 2018-10-14 17:02:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10540749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WORLDLWT/pseuds/WORLDLWT
Summary: Mental disorders and living in your own mind





	

Harry was the type of beautiful that didn't really need explaining everyone just saw it, except him; which again, was just his type of beautiful. 

He fixed his hair in the reflection of the toaster and then the spoon and again in the car and Louis always made it a point to remind him that he was indeed lovely, but effort only goes so far.

Harry was laying beside him in bed, fixing his hair in his slight reflection in the frosted over window of their small and forever scorching hot bedroom.

Harry hated it, he hated waking up soaking wet and smelling like sweat He hated the way the blankets were itchy and too warm for comfort and how Louis’ skin didn't always feel like home when he was inside his own personal type of irritated.

“Harry, let's go to bed. You look fine, no one is seeing you but me.”

Harry continued to fix his hair, moving to catch his reflection as if it was running away from him and not staring him back dead in the eyes.

“Yes, I know. Maybe I'm still trying to impress you.”

Louis laughed knowing that wasn't true and switched off the light so harry could no longer see his reflection.

“Goodnight Harry.”

He kissed his cheek and hummed softly as he rubbed Harry's forever sore back waiting for him to calm down and lay down in bed.

“You're beautiful.”

“I'm broken.”

Louis sat up, loathing when Harry referred to himself as broken. He has never been broken to Louis. More complicated sure but never broken. 

He was a mess, a beautifully complicated mess. A beautiful vase with daggers on the outside but flowers filling the water inside.

“You're not broken. I love you and you are not broken.”

Louis wrapped his arms around Harry and kissed the back of his neck.

“Then why do I always have this sinking feeling in my damn chest and why do I pull my hair out when it doesn't fall right and why do I have to check the back of the spoon every time it leaves my mouth just to make sure I'm still there and I'm still everyone's idea of beauty?”

He sighed and Louis could feel the build up of tears coming and he rubbed Harry's shoulders a little more roughly, trying to relieve any stress he could.

“I am broken and sinking.”

“You are between fifty and sixty five percent water. You cannot be broken anymore than a ship can.”

Harry laughed a little and put his hands over Louis’ moving ones and Louis instantly stopped and let Harry play with his fingers.

“The Titanic sank didn't it?”

Louis sighed at the fighting reference but went along with it anyway.

“It ran into an iceberg love. There are no icebergs for you to stumble upon.”

Harry was silent for a moment and Louis thought he broke through to him, for even a second. But his world was sadly never sunshine and rainbows when it came to his relationship.

“Well you're here.”

Louis took his hands back from Harry's and watched his own hands fall flat on the bed.

“Are you saying that I'm the reason you feel like you're sinking inside your own body?”

“You make my soul hurt. In a good way but also in a bad way. I don't know if it's healthy for someone like me.”

Louis wanted to yell at to tell Harry that no, they were in this together and Louis wasn't going anywhere.

“You don't accept me for who I am.”

“Yes, I do Har-”

“No, you don't.”

Louis sat there confused and in the dark Harry's eyes didn't shine as brightly and his teeth didn't sparkle back at him.

“I am broken and bruised and my mind is all messed up but instead of just facing it and telling me that yes, you're broken and I accept you, you sugarcoat it and you sprinkle kisses full of lies and lust for normality.”

There was a pause in which only Harry's breath could be heard as he hurried for his next sentence.

“A mental disorder doesn't go away when you close your eyes at night. It doesn't go away when you stop looking at it or poking it with a stick. It just doesn't go away and I live in my own head more than in our relationship and I'm sorry but all you can do is accept it.”

Louis sat in silence as Harry stood up quietly and walked out of the room, shutting the door slowly behind him leaving Louis with nothing but the ghost of his words and the click of the door.


End file.
